I feel kind of blah. My mind has been racing and just moving non-stop for the past several days. It hasn't been a bad couple days....just tiring. I dunno. Do you ever just feel like you don't fit in? I feel like that all too often. I'm too young to be old, but I'm too established to be young. I'm too strong and independent to be approachable, but no one is right for me anyways....at least not right now. That and my personality is not that easy to get along with (yeah...I've been told that.)
I am usually constantly stressed, but it has become such a normal part of my life that I don't stress about it anymore. Did I mention that my logic doesn't make sense to most people? I like puzzles; I'm used to a perfect fit. Maybe that's my problem ;) Life doesn't fit into our perfect little boxes we design for them.
Ugh. I was just reminded about memories today....and that brought up even more memories. I miss feeling needed....in all relationships, but yes, mostly a romantic one. People don't need me like they used to. I used to be the one people went to for advice (some still do occasionally), but I'm no longer that person. And because people don't need me, I feel like I'm just becoming a fading season. I've been the friend to give advice, the shoulder to lean on, the ear to listen, the girl to give you confidence.
I think a lot of people in this world are either (1) really selfish or (2) think that everyone else is too selfish. I know there's a happy medium....something that I need to find. I don't know where that is though. Anyone care to give me their thoughts? How about this....is it selfish to be upset when someone else is throwing a party on your birthday? Ah, sorry....I don't know where I'm going with this, but I don't want to keep explaining that last part, but I'm keeping it as a valid question.
A lot of people have told me that if you want something so much, that you have to stop looking for it and then it will appear. I don't want to look for anything, but I can't help but keep my eyes open. I feel like I'm pleading with God....like a child wanting candy in the grocery store, but He sure as heck isn't letting me get what I wish I had. Hahahaha....He has something else "homemade" waiting for me. Frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm just waiting. No excitement here.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
On the birthday question...it depends on whether they are throwing a party for you, or for themselves. Or if it's for themselves, and it's not THEIR birthday, whether they picked a day to have a party BECAUSE it's YOUR birthday and wanted to cause trouble. In which case it's ok to feel hurt. If they accidentally picked that day not realizing that it's your birthday, but the date is too established to change and you still feel like no one can have fun unless they're with you, yes. It's selfish.
Post a Comment